Turkey Day Humor..........
Thanksgiving Divorce
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'
The man who forgot to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.
'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.'
'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.
'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them....... John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Posts
7 comments:
Jenn, you found great stories for today and sure saved me alot of time. I can tell these jokes and don't have to google them!
Ma'am, I must take exception to a couple of minor items on this post of yours, although it was very well written. There are those who enjoy cornbread dressing instead of stuffing, and what kind of biscuits do you eat on Thanksgiving? Bless your heart, ya'll can screw up anything north of Virginia, can't ya'll?
In all seriousness, God has blessed me with some amazing things. I am constantly grateful that He has led me to the where I am, geographically and in life. I am grateful for the love of my children. I am thankful that there are young men and women who will eat a Thanksgiving meal today that will have sand in it. Sand on the table, sand in the turkey, sand on the bread and on the weak koolaid that passes for juice.
I am thankful for friends, both new and old. To all of you I wish a Happy Thanksgiving, and blessings in abundance. May your harvest next year be bountiful, and your burdens light.
Happy Thanksgiving
To Robert, Jennifer, and all readers of Conservative Convictions:
Happy Thanksgiving. If you drive, drive Safe.
So, about that picture - who are they? Liberal Dog and Conservative Cat? :)
Wishing ya'll a happy Thanksgiving.
Peace! Rocky
Thank you all for your Thanksgiving wishes! I am so very thankful for you all and this wonderful mission that we are involved in. I have been very blessed and in so many ways. I'm thankful for my family, my friends, my freedom and all those that have fought and continue to fight for it.
Thinking on all that has happened in India, I am grateful that we have a safe environment for my children to grow up in.
Now Robert......we didn't have biscuits but rolls and we had lots of STUFFING and turkey, and ham, and broccoli, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes. Okay, enough food talk, I'm stuffed! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!
I liked the turkeys. Maybe that's because I identify with them.
I trust you all had a great Thanksgiving Day!
Jenn,
Your posting (type-wise) are as valid, needed and satisfying than the policy-wonk stuff we have to endure to educate ourselves as conservatives. Many thanks!!
Post a Comment