Just When You Thought the CC Crew Had Gone Far Enough....

(Please start the music before reading. It's more fun that way.)

Those with spines of linguine and Obama voters beware!!! For in their great wisdom and folly, the shiny batch of conservative malcontents that got together to rub out this blog called Conservative Convictions have extended and invitation to the great and plaid master of the ever-out-there-ish-ish blog entitled Sane Political Discourse to come before you as a regular and postify his confrabulations (and made up words (and parentheses (ad nauseum (because he can (6 this time (count 'em))))) for your reading pleasure and eventual mental reprogramming. And so, here he is, to explain himself in only ways he would dare, he who is the wisdom and the light, the legend of legends, and more humble than the greatest of the humbly humble, the illustrious Patrick M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*tenuous applause*

Okay, that was a little over the top, but if you can't start out with an overblown, ego-feeding intro, what's the point? SO let's get to the real intro, Patrick M style:

The Beginning - I grew up in small-town Ohio. Spent eight F'ing years in Catholic School. Went to college around here before going to Dayton to finish. Moved back. 'Nuff said.

Writing - I started this worthwhile pursuit in 7th grade. I wrote on a pre-Mac apple clone, printed out on green and white striped tractor feed paper (that you couldn't tear the tractor feed off of). It was a festival of dick and fart jokes. I moved on to some short story and poetry by my last year in high school. It was a few years later that I wrote a short story that created the universe which you can find on my blog Stories from the Front Row, which may lead to the book (also in process). And the poetry, such as it is is on yet another blog. More on the blogging.

Workage - I've really found two things that I seem to do well: dealing with people and figuring out anything electronic. I've worked on computers since I was 6 (an Apple II Plus), have spent more time working at various locations for RadioShack (long story) and after some really crappy jobs mixed in there, I find myself doing Internet Tech support. At least people are glad to hear me because I am on the same continent.

Comedy of Errors - I can divide my love life into several periods. I'm not going to go into details, but there are three significant ones, one that scarred me emotionally for a long time, one that lacked a personality, but led immediately to the third, who left me with two children and an intense dislike of bad mothers who squeeze out children. It's been over a year since I became fully single again, although I still have to deal with my ex, because of the kids, despite winning full custody. But, one thing she gave me (despite bills, BS, and two children was:

Blogging - I fired up SPD shortly before booting her ass from my apartment. Essentially, my writing had ground to a halt between working and taking care of three children (yes, I'm counting her as a child) nonstop. So, with things in motion to remove her from my daily annoyance, I decided to get into the world of blogging. I churned away for several months, fleshing out some of my ideas, putting myself into the role of a presidential candidate, and generally begging family to read my blog so I had more than a hit or two a week. But one weekend, I was listening to a rebroadcast of Hannity, when someone called in from KC Missouri, and mentioned her blog. That happened to be Dee over at Conservatism with Heart. And from there, I began to visit and find more blogs, mostly conservative, some liberal, some completely socialist. And from there, I grew SPD to something worth reading. I don't remember how I ended up there, but I made my way here by way of Jennifer's blog. Again, 'nuff said.

The Politics - If you have yet to visit SPD, let me give you my particular conservative slant, as discussions here have really revealed all the splits in greater conservatism. I'm more of the libertarian mold. I focus mainly on the fiscal and governmental role aspects of conservatism and have conflicting views with my social brethren over government enforcement of morality. In other words, while I have aspects of my faith that lead me one direction, they sometimes conflict with my belief in limiting government involvement in our daily lives. A post I did on abortion explains this tension the best. And I am far from a party man, especially when the GOP has abandoned many of the principles that catapulted it to power in 1980 and 1994. Which means I can finish with:

Blogging Philosophy - One thing that I decided when I started blogging was that I didn't want my blog to degenerate into incessant namecalling, which was a hallmark of the extremist blogs. So, while I'm not above copious amounts of humor, blasting someone who deserves being blasted (Mike "Huck-a-duck" Huckabee, and mocking those who deserve to be mocked Barney Frank), I generally treat every politician with a minimum of respect, and will judge them only by their comments and actions of the day. Except Ron Paul, Ralph Nader, and their tinfoil hat brigades, because there has to be someone to laugh at.

Big Honkin' Finish and Plugs - It's getting late in the day, so I'm going to have to go to sleep (or pass out while typing). But I shall return to pontificate soon enough. And since I'm not a fan of crossposting my stuff, you'll be able to delve into more of my buttery goodness by clicking on this big-assed link to my other blog: Sane Political Discourse. I promise I won't staple anything to anything in the process. And if you want to email me on anything you don't want every mofo ever ill-bred to read (and response is guaranteed), it's patrickmspeaks@gmail.com.

Thank you, and good night.